Rob's OCD

I never realized Rob had any "quirks" until recently when I had a grip load of dollar bills in my wallet.... Watch :)

Just Being That Way

I am at a phase in my life right now where everything seems to catch up with me. The stresses of everyday life has begun to take its toll on me, and I feel lost.

All that has happened:
My mom's fall and hip break in December 2008, then another hospital stay for gastritis and a possible cancer scare at the start of this year

Rob losing his job because of Home Depot management's stupidity, then his dad's stroke February 2010

Unhappiness at work - I primarily do not feel challenged at work anymore, and don't feel like doing the same thing over and over again

My best friend, Jamie, going through the worst thing in her life with her pancreatitis getting really bad - worse than in 2006

So again, I say - I feel extremely lost. I definitely have the great support from Rob, but there are just sometimes where I just want to say SCREW Y'ALL - and just ball myself and cry.

Merry Christmas!!!

Absent-Minded Blogging

I’m currently sitting at a nearby eatery, having lunch. I had planned on finishing a “catch-up” blog (as I call it) that I started working on about a week ago. I’ve been scatterbrained since I sat down.  Rather than recall the previous week, I decided to just do my absent-minded blogging for right now. I’m lucky if I post this online, so here goes…

I’m doing some people watching as I gather my thoughts onto an open WP page. There are people walking by, some caught up in their conversations, others not paying attention to what is ahead of them. I see a mother and son sitting at the table directly in front of me. The son spent the entire 10 minutes since I've sat down complaining how his sandwich wasn’t done correctly, and has repeatedly asked his mother if they will re-do his sandwich in the way that he liked. Now, let me note that the son isn’t a little boy… he’s a TEENAGE boy. At the table to their left is a couple who looks like they are in their 50s, sitting in silence while they eat their meal. I wonder what they are both quietly thinking to themselves. I also see a young pregnant woman, sitting at a table to my right. She’s enjoying a light meal of bagel and cream cheese for lunch. She holds a piece of her bagel while she writes notes on the page of her "Mommy" book with a pen in her right hand. I see co-workers pass by me and wave hello as I don’t realize it happening since I’ve completely tuned out my audible surroundings.

Ugh, I wonder if people are doing the same thing about me - questioning my frantic typing (I am chatting online as well). Who knows? But oh, to be in the minds of others can be interesting sometimes…

My Personality Test

My 32nd Birthday 09.19.08

I had a wonderful birthday celebration spread out over two days. As you can see, my birthday was full of surprises and lots of fun. The celebration began the day before (09.18.08) with Rob surprising me with the birthday cake flowers, and my boss and co-workers giving me the best cupcakes I have ever had – DOTS Cupcakes in Pasadena. Then, my birthday fun continued on the day of my birthday (09.19.08) at the L.A. County Fair at Pomona Fairflex with Rob, my friend Brenda, Rob's best friend David, and his girlfriend Chelsea, Rob's sister Tricia and her husband, Alex.

As you can see, I had the time of my life! I had not been to the fair in 20 years, and it was well worth it. I want to thank everyone that helped me celebrate this special day. I definitely will cherish the memories.

2nd Anniversary - Disneyland

After a month and a half, I FINALLY have the Anniversary Trip pics somewhat organized in a slideshow... enjoy!

Amazing Natural Wonders

A nice slideshow from AOL ... click below ...

Explore Amazing Natural Wonders Across The USA With AOL Travel

Office Etiquette

This is a small thing (the blog, that is), but I happen to notice this about a couple of weeks ago. As I was walking down a hallway of offices, I heard like a 'clipping' sound. Now keep in mind, this hallway has about six offices (three on each side) with a couple of important management people in them. Anyway, as I hear this sound, I turned my head towards the 'clips' and noticed that one of our proposal managers was cutting her nails. At first, I thought that she probably was cutting her FINGERnails, but looking further, I saw her bent down on her chair cutting her TOEnails! That was just completely gross! I am not sure about you, but if you have the privacy of your office - PLEASE CLOSE YOUR DOORS! Enough said!

A Time to Reflect – Good-bye, 2007!

It is a little more than two weeks into 2008, and as I sit here and write this, I hold wishes that 2008 will be a positive adventure for me to encounter. My reflection on 2007 has shown me that it definitely had been an up & down experience that I truly will never forget in my lifetime. I definitely came about many challenges last year that has tested my strength and patience.

January started out pretty rough. I began the year at a job that pretty much led to many regrets. Looking after Megan was an everyday process that I did not think was a challenge since I adored that little girl. It was a job that, after much thought after everything happened that I definitely did not want to do. Again, I loved watching that little girl grow-up, especially because of her heart condition. I think that for me not wanting that job pretty much involved the fact of what I thought her father definitely was as a person vs. what he really is as a person. Ernie was very overbearing, AND very demanding… pretty much someone who had high goals in life but did not realize that he relied on others to do much of the hard work. His everyday presentations of himself made Ernie appear like a dedicated worker, but yet still a goofball. He provided for his family by working all hours of the day (or night), no matter what. However, my thinking is that when your own child is afraid of you the instant you walk through that front door that there is definitely something wrong. January also brought on my staph infection that put me in the hospital two weeks into the New Year. I wished that I could take back those two weeks of my life! I never could imagine that with my experience in the medical field that I would allow myself to let that infection get that bad. My clue that things were not OK was the fact that I had an abscess the size of a golf ball growing large everyday under my arm. Life lesson learned! The hospital stay was a traumatic experience as it is, and I am still not quite sure to this day why it would be. However, it definitely felt like it was the loneliest time of my life! I still feel anger towards myself, and the doctor's five-minute examination of my wound was the worst encounter that I never want to go through again! Anyway, the healing process has just begun for me mentally, but looking at the area where they drained the abscess, it is looking great. I occasionally still feel a bit of a pain, or twinge, because of scar tissue still in there. Nevertheless, that is something that will be OK for me to deal with…

February – unemployment for a couple of weeks – employment for a week – Rob's sister got married! :) As the healing process began, my patience with Megan's parents was starting to rattle me a bit. Considering that I mentioned to them that I could not return to work until I got medical clearance (to rule out any heart problems since I complained of chest pains when I got admitted into the hospital), Ernie and his wife (well, mostly Ernie) weren't exactly the most understanding people when it came to regards of my medical condition. In addition to all that had been going on with me, my mother had hurt her back and had been bed-ridden for TWO MONTHS! My poor dad spent those months caring for my mother – getting up to make her meals, help her to the bathroom, sit up in bed, etc. In between those times, while I was in the hospital, he helped bring and pick-up Rob at work and visited me at the hospital to bring me comfort items from home. Therefore, when I saw Ernie at my previous employment (Fortanasce), I explained to him my situation. The ungrateful bastard went through a 'boo-ha-ha' speech. "After everything I've done for you, this is how you treat me," is what he told me… OK, I am in the hospital for a week, you 'reprimand' me because YOUR WIFE was always late for work, and (he mentioned that to me while I was in the hospital)… Moreover, you are thinking is that because your feelings are hurt because of me putting my health and my family as a priority that you are going to let me go? Let me tell you this, I QUIT! However, the opportunity came about when Jamie's nurse at the time, Glenora, referred me to a business owner that ran a respiratory therapy-staffing agency. It was a job position that sounded great on paper – pay was great and I actually had the chance to work in a field that I enjoyed – healthcare and Marketing! Well, that is where it all stopped. This business owner was ridiculous! At first, I thought David at Fortanasce was awful? This person was the KING of worst employers that I have come across! I do not think this guy knew the meaning of respect! He treated me unfairly… Told me to do things without an explanation… Did not give the proper orientation in terms of protocol when it came to scheduling staff for the following month… AND while I was on the phone with a client began yelling at me because I did not do things the way he wanted it to be. Overall … the happiness of the month was Rob celebrating his 23rd birthday and his big sis, Tricia, got married! (It was a beautiful wedding, by the way!)

March came along with the anxiety of being unemployed (again). The restlessness of being at home, and not having the ability to have a steady income or pay the bills, was really starting to get to me – AND I MEAN BAD! I spent most of my days at home, and driving Rob to and from work. I did not really feel like doing anything fun because, again, money was limited. We relied on Rob's income to pay the bills and for me to get medications (thank you, baby!) I had one interview that rather gave me the run around, and finally finding out after two weeks that they had already hired someone. Then, there was that job interview as an administrative assistant where the HR lady literally slapped me in the face by telling me that she did not think that I had the experience to answer phones, schedule appointments, type! Good grief, SHE WAS A MORON!

The end of April FINALLY brought on the good news that I FINALLY got a job, a temp-to-hire position working as a Contract Assistant for an Engineering company in Pasadena. It involved mainly data entry for Contract Administrators creating projects for contracts received in their office. I was a bit apprehensive about this job since it was a bit out of my comfort zone. After working in healthcare for almost seven years, a desk job just inputting information into a computer for 8 hours a day can really take its toll on a person. It actually did after a couple of months, physically… I was so used to being active when working with patients that I definitely understand why someone sitting at a desk all day can have the neck and shoulder pains!

July was a difficult month for me. In one day, you could say that I lost a few things (well, they were not things). The stresses of everyday life began to take its toll on me that my first instinct was to take things out on Rob. I do not necessarily recall what set me off that Tuesday morning, but from that point… Something was triggered off in Rob to the point that he made the decision to move out of the house. Going through that day made it rather difficult for me that I was fuming from anger and in tears that I was sent home early because I was so upset. Of course to top it off, I found out that two of my precious cockatiels, Sally and Stewie, had flown away! That night was an interesting night… I was at Starbucks that night with Jamie, and the tears just could not stop flowing. I was going back and forth with wanting to try to work things out with Rob and wanting to break up with him at the moment. The anger inside built up so much that I even called my ex, Aaron, and told him that I needed to see him tonight. I did not care what my condition was that night… I was headed down to San Diego to see him. Nevertheless, because she's the greatest (and best) friend a girl can have in the world, Jamie followed me home after Starbucks to make sure I did my sulking at home.

Anyway, things have been worked out since then – Rob's back to living at home, but there have a few times in the past couple of months where he would have moved out because of my stupidity and some insecurities. I celebrated my 31st birthday in September – somewhat the way I wanted it… I had my Accounting Class on my birthday that I couldn't miss. However, I got to celebrate the b-day a day later at the Magnolia Lounge in Pasadena… Love that place! Food & drinks were awesome! :) Rob and I actually had our FIRST vacation outside of California together by going to Chicago. Both of us had never been there, and though it was limited for 3 days (and some snow that I actually enjoyed), we look forward to going back over there sometime during the summer to explore a lot more things over there! The holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's Eve) have been celebrated with me sick – I just can't get rid of this darn cold!

Other than that, I'm definitely looking forward to 2008. It's an even year, so I hope that good things are to come for me this year! *Fingers Crossed*

Thanks for letting me share my thoughts and my world with all of you…

It's My Birthday

I'm 31 today, and I never could have imagined what this new year in my life can bring me. Though the celebration isn't going to be majorly exciting (I have work all day and school all night), I am truly grateful to be surrounded by the love of Rob, my family and my friends. I've reflected on how my life has completely changed over the past year. From the mistreatment that I received from a couple of previous employers... to my experience and ordeal in the hospital earlier this year... to the unemployment shortly after... followed by the job that has become a blessing and Rob moving out in July, I definitely can say it has been a life experience.

The challenges that I have encountered in the 30th year of my life has definitely affected me emotionally and mentally. The self-confidence for me to find a job that I most deserve has definitely affected me the most to the point that I hit my most low. The hospital was majorly traumatizing that even letting Rob hug me caused me to cry.

Nevertheless, putting aside the negativity of all that, including Rob moving out (which I am not completely ready to talk about), has given me something positive to look forward to. With a new job that I love, it has given the confidence to make the 31st year of my life a better one. I have taken everything that has occurred and have used it as a life lesson.

Bring it on!

My Mom's Birthday - Sept. 14

September 14 marked the day that my mom has lived 70 years on this world. To think how my mom has lived her life during the 30 years that I have been a part of hers truly has me cherish having her in my life. Mom and I have had our differences, but what mother-daughter relationship does not? I definitely know, that despite all the words said and all the emotions felt, my mom has always been there whenever I have needed her.

My mom has encountered so many challenges in her life. She moved here to the U.S. almost 35 years ago. She was a single mother traveling to foreign lands with an 11-year-old son, and not really having any sort of close family around to help her out. In 1988, she was diagnosed with brain cancer after complaints of dizziness and headaches. Her doctor found that she had a tumor the size of a golf ball sitting on the base of her head. In 1994, she was again diagnosed with cancer -- this time breast cancer on the left side -- after she found a lump.

So, for the 70 years of my mom's life, it has been a milestone for her. She has shown that she has the strength to overcome any challenges that life has given her. For that, my mother has truly become my hero.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM! (A tribute a day later!)

A Three-Month Recap

Hmmm... I believe my last posting was in the first week in June... Well, a lot has happened since then, and I'm not sure where to begin....

Let's see.... In July, shortly after the holiday, Rob moved out of the house - which was for the best - because of some very personal issues that I shall not discuss publicly. That same day, I lost two of my special cockatiels - Sally and Stewie - because of them getting spooked and flying away. To this day, there are no signs of whether or not they are still around (or Bebe, who we lost last year).

What else has happened? I have gone back to school after taking about a year off to regroup and focus. Rob has also started school. Rob lost his Grandma Sally a couple of weeks ago.

Work has been great. It has had its ups & downs, as any job can have, but I definitely enjoying what it has had to offer.

Other than that, I am living everyday as I can. I have Rob, my family and my friends around me... What else can I ask for?

Next thing to look forward to? BIRTHDAY #31! :)

Extremely Hectic...

I know that it's been about three months since my last posting... There have been many things that have been going on that when I actually have the time to sit down to talk about it you will definitely have plenty to read about. So hang on tight... and I'll chat with ya in a bit! :)

Not yet engaged...

Though we are not 'officially' engaged, Rob & I went to Robbins Bros. during our anniversary to look at engagement rings. We wanted to get an idea of how much it would cost to get one to his likings. We narrowed it down to three (as you can see by the pictures). Rob and I really loved this ring overall together (I had one I liked and he had one that he liked), except this had a princess cut diamond in the center. Somehow it just seemed to 'fit' with the promise ring that Rob gave me back in November. Even with a round cut diamond, it looked right.

Anyway, the process of looking through the rings and picking it out was perfect. I can see why Robbins Bros. really is the "World's Biggest Engagement Ring Store." Their prices are reasonable, the staff was perfect, and we didn't have the pressure of getting the ring NOW. Our salesperson, Rose, was excellent and helpful. We went through every single display case, and looked at every single ring one-by-one. There were so many rings that just took my breath away!

Going to Robbins Bros. definitely gave us an idea of where to go to get the right ring. I know that when the time is right Rob will pick out the ring that he loves for me (with the help of the BFF, Jamie). I look forward to the day when Rob will ask me to become his wife.

Weekend Getaway - Saturday's Itinerary

Originally, Rob and I were planning to go to Disneyland. Unfortunately, despite setting the alarm clock at 7:30 AM, we ended staying in bed until 10:30 AM. But if you think about it, sleeping in just a little bit longer made it all worthwhile.

Our day began by having lunch at J.T. Schmidt's in Anaheim. It's a brewery/steakhouse with many choices of food. Rob and I both opted to have steak for lunch, with me having a New York Strip and Rob having a 16 oz Rib eye. The place is a bit pricey, but I love eating at this place!

After lunch, we headed off to Target. Our plans were to purchase some swimsuits to relax by the pool. Unfortunately, we didn't find anything to our liking, and it would cost me $25 alone just to purchase a top. Instead, we chose to purchase a few movies to watch in our hotel room.

When we returned to our room, we watched "Hannibal Rising." Good, but disturbing. We also purchased "Secret Window" for Rob to watch and "Because I Said So" for me. We had Chinese takeout delivered to our room.

After a quick bite to eat, we decided to go to the Block in Orange once again just to walk around... ate pretzels... then headed back to the room.

An end to a relaxing day!

Weekend Getaway - Friday's Itinerary

11:00 AM to 12:15 PM
Breakfast/Lunch at Coco's

Our day had a slow start, mainly because of me, but we headed off to Pasadena around 10:30 AM with plans to have breakfast/lunch at Denny's (off of Colorado). Unfortunately, Denny's was not to be because they shut down for remodeling. Instead, we headed off to Coco's in Arcadia (between Michillinda and Colorado). This added to our time, since we had to be at Amadeus Spa a half hour before our appointment time. When we arrived, we had a 10 minute wait until we could be seated. Our waitress was not the best waitress. She told us she would be with us in a minute, but we still waited for an additional 10 minutes. Then, she came and took our drink orders. It only took her about 5 minutes to come back, and take our food order. Well, a group of four arrived shortly after she took our drink order (about 10 minutes later), and they still managed to get their food first (considering we ordered our food right when they were settling into the booth). Our appetizers arrived at the same time as our meals. What's up with that? She offered to get me a refill for my coffee, but she returned without a coffee pot in hand - only to drop off our check. I left very disappointed.


1:00 PM to 3:45PM
Massage at Amadeus Spa & Salon for Rob and me

Let the relaxation begin! I have been looking forward to this massage since the day I booked it a month ago. A session of just letting all that tension and stress flow out of me was worth paying a lot of extra dollars. I never realized how much stress I was holding onto until the massage therapist started digging into my muscles. But it was worth it!



5:00 PM to 6:00PM
Sitting in traffic to get to Anaheim

I don't really have anything to say about this... I'm sure that when someone sees the word traffic they would understand. All I can say is that people are annoying, and there is just no courtesy when it comes to driving. That's it!


6:30 PM to 9:00 PM
Running errands and getting some Sonic food for dinner

Yeah, Rob and I ended up going to Wal-Mart when we got to Anaheim. I somehow managed to forget to pack my shoes (and he forgot his shoes), socks, and some other miscellaneous stuff because of the late start this morning. So, Rob and I went off to get these items. Then, we headed off to Sonic for dinner. I haven't had Sonic in such a long time, and it seems that this is the only one around that I know of in Los Angeles or Orange Counties. I haven't had Sonic since maybe when I was in Nashville. Yummy food!


9:00 PM to 10:00 PM
Corresponding with family and friends

I had the need to let family and friends know that Rob & I made it safely, and chatted a little bit online with Jamie and my cousin.


10:00 PM to 1:30 AM
Off to The Block in Orange to go see "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End"

Awesome movie! Totally better than the second one, and even funnier than the first. Definitely will see it again in the theaters!

Music - A quiz thing

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button

Opening Credits:
Toxic - Britney Spears

Waking up:
Call Me - Deborah Cox

First Day at School:
Mean Girls - Sugarland

Falling in Love:
Modern Day Drifter - Dierks Bentley

Fight Song:
Lay Down Your Love - 4 P.M. (For Positive Music)

Breaking Up:
How To Deal - Frankie J

Prom:
1999 - Prince

College Life:
Feel Good Inc - Gorillaz

Mental Breakdown:
In a Small Town - Kenny Chesney

Getting Back Together:
Can't Help Falling in Love - Andrea Bocelli

Wedding:
Cold Hands (Warm Heart) - Brendan Benson

Birth of a Child:
Don't Cry Out Loud - Diana DeGarmo

Final Battle:
Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen

Funeral Song:
Speed of Life - Sugarland

Ending credit:
Come a Little Closer - Dierks Bentley

Much needed getaway!

Rob and I are planning a much-needed getaway this upcoming weekend. We're not going far (just to Anaheim to spend the weekend at Disneyland and possibly California Adventure.) Anyway, I think all the stresses of me being unemployed and everything else going on have really gotten to me. I need the chance to unwind, and just try to spend as much time as I possibly can with Rob. Since I've started working again, I hardly get to just "spend time" with Rob these days. I miss the sleeping in time... the just having the whole day with him. It seems and feels "different" seeing him after we both get off work. I consider that my "me" time. So, I don't know... Weekend will be great just to have each other all to ourselves, I guess! Come back in a couple of days to hear about our trip and see the pics!

EVERYTHING’S GOING DOWN … Well, the servers at least

Wednesday was interesting enough… We spent our day just going through the everyday processes of dealing with our company’s contract administrators being completely stupid. I mean, for an everyday thing that seems somewhat repetitive, how is it that every single one of them seems to be so clueless in what is mandatory in submitting a project? I cannot recall a time when Elaine isn’t on the phone or emailing one of these idiotic CAs reminding them of the things that they do in an everyday basis. I can admit that I am not quite the perfect person when it comes to remembering a task (and I’m new at this position), but many of these CAs have been there for so many years! How is it that you can forget to upload a contract backup into the system when you know that it is required? Who is it that they’re going to blame when a certain project goes through the audit process? The CAs will be the ones, not the contract assistants who are setting up these projects. We cannot create or update contracts in Oracle until we verify the correct information. How do we know that the correct revenue budget is in the proper project? Sometimes $1 goes along way, especially if it’s a $6 million project for the U.S. Air Force!

I just had to get that off my chest considering that it’s a day-to-day thing. Anyway, projects are coming along. Approximately 11:00 A.M., everyone in our department is trying to process our contracts. If you’re saving information, the little status bars on the bottom right of the screen kind of does what I call a “ping pong” status (the bars just go back and forth with nothing happening). The system did not let you sign back on if you happened to sign off Oracle because the screen went blank. Apparently, the servers were down, and no one in the Tech Support department decided to give us a heads up! (They’re useless sometimes)

I am at my desk twiddling my thumbs away (literally). I literally cannot recall what I exactly did to let the time pass by. I think I might have organized my desk, read a little email, walked around the building a few times, ate a little snack, and waited until lunchtime. What did I do for lunch? Hmm… Can you tell how bored I was?

Luckily, the servers were back up shortly before two o’clock. Despite the server going down, we still managed to finish all of our projects. It definitely must have been a slow day if we managed to do that!